15 Ways To Throw Shade, Shakespeare Style

It’s hard to come up with a biting come back these days. Something that will really make your friends “ohhhhh” appreciatively. Luckily Shakespeare was the master of the comeback and the take down, and there’s a wide variety of his insults to choose from. Here’s a little break down of exactly which Bard barbs to pull out in every situation.

1. When your friend won’t stop bragging that their trip was the best vacation ever.

“It will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass. —All’s Well That Ends Well

2. When they put on way too much body spray.

 “Pray you stand farther from me. – Antony and Cleopatra  

3. When they won’t stop talking trash.

“Were I like thee, I’d throw away myself.” –Timon of Athens

4. When their last insult was a little lackluster.

“Thy words are blunt, and so art thou.” – Henry VI, Part 2

5. When they need to change their outfit, immediately.

“Thou dost infect mine eyes. –Richard III

6. When you‘re low-key frustrated with the stupid decisions they’ve been making lately.

“I was seeking for a fool when I found you.”As You Like It

7. When they won‘t stop talking about their favorite show, which you couldn’t care less about.

“Away, thou tedious rogue!”Timon of Athens

8. When their crush is not that smart.

“He has not so much brain as earwax.”– Troilus and Cressida

9. When they can‘t see the issue that’s right in front of them.

“Hast thou never an eye in thy head?” Henry, IV, Part 1

10. When their argument is so infuriating it’s giving you a headache.

“More of your conversation would infect my brain.”Coriolanus

11. When they show up to your party looking like a hot mess.

“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon!”Timon of Athens

12. When they binge watch a show they promised they’d wait to watch with you.

“Recreant and most degenerate traitor.” – Richard II  

13. When they’re laughing at the most childish joke ever.

“The more degenerate and base art thou.”The Two Gentleman of Verona

14. When you really want to paint a picture with your insult.

“A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a base, proud,
shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy,
worsted-stocking knave; a lily-liver’d, action-taking, whoreson,
glass-gazing, superserviceable, finical rogue;
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of
good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave,
beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch”
King Lear

15. When you don’t just want to insult them, but leave them with a little curse as well.

“A pox damn you, you muddy rascal.”Henry IV, Part 2